May I just tell you, my dear friends, I have ‘been there and done that’ concerning my cataract surgery.  And, I didn’t even get a T-shirt!  The cataracts are gone…and all that’s left for me to do is put drops in my eyes for another month!

Now, I want to be real honest with you about this procedure.  I’m gonna tell you exactly how it was…and is.  But, first, a disclaimer:  Everyone’s surgery experiences are different and just because I tell you it is this way for me doesn’t mean it will be this way for you!  You and your doctor should make all decisions concerning your health.  I just want to share with you the things I experienced.  OK?  OK.

Joy took me in for the first surgery.  Everything went fine.  All the nurses who got me ready and prepared my eyes were super.  The anesthesioligist and the doctor were tops.  But, the surgical nurse who came to roll me down to the OR was a nasty little twit.

SHE:  So you are going to be put to sleep?  There’s really no need for that.

ME:  My doctor and I decided that this would be the best thing for me.

SHE:  Well, we do this surgery every day and we don’t usually put someone to sleep.  It’s really unnecessary.  (all this while she is rolling me along to surgery)

ME:  (getting a little miffed)  What is your name again?

SHE:  Sandy

ME:  Well, Sandy, I’ll be sure to tell Dr K that you think the decisions he made for my surgery are all wrong.  I’m sure he’d like to know what you think.

SHE:  Now, hon, don’t go getting nervous and upset on me.  You just have to do what’s right for you.

Yeah, she changed her tune quite quickly!  And, by the way, I didn’t tell on her, but I should have.  None of her business!  Anyway, I was returned to Joy who put me in the car and headed home.  I was fine but feeling a little ‘loopy’.  And…I did see some things quite amusing on my way home from the hospital.

ME:  Joy, I feel like I am hallucinating.  I keep seeing things I know are not there.

JOY:  Things like what, Sweet Sister of Mine?

ME:  I actually think I’m seeing PINK ELEPHANTS!

JOY:  Why, Darling Sister, you know that is impossible!  We are in Alabama and the only elephants here are RED (ROLL TIDE)!  Besides, I don’t think they like to walk along a busy highway such as this.

I pulled out my telephone and snapped away.  You see them, too, don’t you?

 Today (8-24) is Joy’s birthday.  I’m only sad that everyone cannot have a sister as special as mine.  She is gentle and kind and always available to anyone in need.  The best gift my parents ever gave me was her as my sister!

So, home to recuperate, and to prepare for phase 2.    There was no pain.  But, the glasses I had were not right anymore and I had to go a week without really seeing well.  But, that passed and it was time for us to head back.  That is until Joy called me late Sunday evening and told me she had just come from the doctor and was very ill with a nasty URI.  So, Don had to be called into escort duty.  We went up to Birmingham a day early and were able to have a very nice dinner with Ian.

The second surgery went well.  Sandy was no where in sight, thank goodness!  And, recovery went well.  No pain…just trying to remember not to lift anything and not to bend over.  More drops all day and trying to adjust to a ‘new normal’ with my eyes.  I have much better distance vision, but all my close up vision is gone.  I didn’t realize this would happen and I am not dealing with it too well.  I  need my glasses to see  anything up close…anything. I can’t read my cell phone, or a prescription bottle or anything close to me at all.   I was used to bifocals before the surgery, and wore my glasses all the time.  Now it’s just hard to remember to keep glasses around my neck or on my head or in my purse or …you get it.  And, I will, too.  I’m thankful for my vision and the cataracts had to come off.  So, I just have to ‘get a grip’ and adjust.  God is good and I am thankful I have eyes to see.

And, for the record… you remember I said I wouldn’t wear the glasses?  Well, I did wear them home from the hospital…just in the car and to go into the motel…but I held my head down.  And, then I fixed them in case I had to wear them again.  Don’t you think they look better now?

Well..I didn’t wear them again.  So, if YOU are having cataract surgery and want to borrow them…I’ll be happy to share!

This post is not going to be nice!  This post is not going to be kind!  It is not going to be mean…but it will be honest.

I am writing this on my IPad, sitting in a doctor’s office in Birmingham, waiting on Pop to see the eye doctor.  (All is well with him.)  It is not easy to write this on the IPad, but I am so mad, that if I don’t write it right now…I am going to go over to that women sitting behind me and yank her hair out…piece by piece!  She is driving me crazy…and it’s not that long of a trip!

GUM SMACKING!!!!!  I hate it!  GUM POPPING!!! I hate it!  GUM CRACKING!!!  I hate it!  The sound of it just jumps in my ear and slides right on down to my next-to-the-last nerve and starts dancing right on top of it!  And, it is not the kind of dancing that make me happy, either.  It GRINDS!  It GRATES!  It POUNDS!  It then jumps from my next-to-the-last nerve to my VERY LAST NERVE!  And there it begins to pulverize that nerve until it totally disintegrates into spasms of severe and utter DELIRIOUS PAIN!  This, my friends, is a very, very unhappy place to be.  It makes my eye twitch.  It makes my hair start to curl.  It makes my right leg start jumping uncontrollably!

All this because someone chooses to smack, blow, pop, crack, bang and snap their gum directly into the ear of those of us who believe in the theory that such ‘obvious enjoyment’ should take place in the privacy of one’s own home or car…..or at the very least in the company of another smacker!  Is that too much to ask?

Since when have doctor’s office waiting rooms become such places of bad behavior?  Is there no decorum anymore?  If there is not a gum smacker in the room, you can be sure there is someone there with young children they are letting run wildly around the room, tearing magazines and shouting across the room with abandon to his brother and picking a fight with his sister which Mom has no intentions of refereeing.  She’s reading a magazine, don’t ya know?   If not this young family, you can be sure there will be a cell phone user who thinks this is the perfect place to catch up on the weeks news with Mama…complete with ‘who did what, to whom and why they should/should not have done it and what needs to be done about it and by whom and exactly when it needs to be done!’  Because I can tell you some very interesting conversations I have heard lately.  But, I won’t.  Because that’s not what is yanking my chain at the moment.  It’s that woman over there with her hair in a braid down her back…chewing, gnawing, masticating, ruminating, chomping on her gum.  It is green.  I know this because SHE HAS HER MOUTH OPEN…and ALL the sound escapes!

I moved away from her.  As kindly as I knew how.  I went as far away from her as I could and put my books on the seat next to me and pretended I needed the extra space to balance my IPad on my knee.  I didn’t want her to think I had moved away from her.  It might hurt her feelings.  It might make her feel bad.  So, I went through the charade to spare her feelings.  HAH!  Because I care about offending or bothering others when we are forced to share close quarters.  I do not want to intrude upon their space nor do I want them to intrude upon mine.  GUM CHOMPING  is an INTRUSION!

I just saw her get up and go to the magazine rack….it is very close to where I am sitting.

Am I being punished for something?  Have I done something to deserve this?

She is standing there now…back against the magazine rack which is on the wall…her mouth again close enough for me to hear what’s going on inside.  And, she is casually flipping the pages of the magazines waiting for something to catch her attention.  First one magazine…then another…and another.  All the while working on that gum for all she’s worth.  Would it be rude if I stick my fingers in my ears?  Can I just scream now and get it over with?

There she goes…back to her seat.  I didn’t glare.  I didn’t tell her to ‘zip it!’  I didn’t act unkindly in any way.

But, if she and I happen to get in the elevator together…just the two of us…all bets are off!

I love handmade things.  Doesn’t matter what…just the thoughts that the item was created with the ‘human touch’ …is enough to endear it to my heart.  As a ‘some-times artist’ myself, I appreciate the thought and planning that comes with the creative process.  In my case, I will get an idea…then I need to mull it over for a few days.  And, at the strangest times, the process will pop into my head and I can see how to get it done.

But this post is not about the artist in me, but other artists whom I do not even know, though I own some of their work and I feel a kinship to them.  I thought you may enjoy seeing it also.  Recently, I decided to rid myself of all the jewelry I was not wearing and not intending to wear again.  I had a lot of random pieces and knew that a discerning eye could help me decide how to ‘take-it-apart’ and ‘put-it-back-together’ in a new and different way.  I also had several pieces that belonged to my Mom that needed some work.  My jeweler and I started working several months ago and have just recently gotten it finished.  I had begun changing my jewelry from yellow gold to white gold a while ago and decided to sell my yellow gold and use the money to offset the cost.  I was surprised at just how much I got from selling my yellow gold and a few pieces of white gold.   Following are a few of the pieces.

You have seen this pendant before, but this is a chain that was handmade by an artist who works with my jeweler.  It is perfect for this pendant, because it looks heavier than it really is. I especially like the way it replicates the detail work around the stone.  Love it!  (By the way, this is a large mother-of-pearl piece that belonged to my mom.  It was purchased by her in Thailand.)

These are 2 more pieces that belonged to my Mom.  And, they are quite rare.  Mom and Pop had some dear friends who were missionaries in Guatemala.  They would go and stay with them for a month’s time and help out with whatever ministries were going on.  On one of their trips, they gave Mom these pieces of jade.  They are pieces that were excavated from some of the Mayan ruins in the area.  Mom considered them real treasures and they actually are.  I am priviledged to care for them now.  This delicate little chain was handmade just to accentuate these pieces.  It has a really neat pattern.  Can you tell that the larger piece hangs in the middle and the smaller one over to one side?  I hope I got a clear enough picture so that you can see the detail that was carved into this jade stone hundreds of years ago.

This sterling bracelet was purchased on a trip to Savannah, GA. with my friends, Shirl and Tina.  The artist had a little stall in a retail area.  I especially loved it because one side is solid and one side is links.  The solid part fits around your arm on the side.  Neat, huh?  I have always worn it just as it was made, but my jeweler suggested adding a charm to it.  Now, this charm was hand made by the same artist who made the 2 chains above.  We added 4 tiny diamonds to each end of the cross.  I think the charm changes the whole look of the bracelet.  Love this and I find myself wearing it all the time, now.

Next is a new piece that is so special.  Joy and I discovered the neatest boutique in Birmingham and we visit it each time we go.  Last time we were there,  I came upon this treasure way in the back of a glass case.  And, I knew it was meant for me.  When the clerk pulled it out, she exclaimed, “I didn’t even know we had this…or it would have gone home with me!”  Lucky me!  It is designed and made by an artist in California. What is so neat is that each piece is so beautiful…but should it be turned around, it’s as beautiful on the back!  So, here’s a shot of the front and then the back.  I think this will be especially nice in the fall.

I must stop here and tell you a story.   I started this post about 2 weeks ago, and got to this point.  Then I remembered that I had also taken Mom’s charm bracelet to be repaired and a handful of charms she had loose in her jewelry box to be added to it.  I went to get it so I could make a picture and add it to this post.  It was not in her jewelry box.  It was not in my jewelry box.  It was not in my seasonal jewelry box.  It was not in any of the 3 drawers of my vanity area in my closet.  It was not in any of the 12 drawers that hold clothes in my closet.  It was not in the 6 drawers next to my sink in the bathroom.  It was not in any of the 20 drawers in my studio.  It was not in any of the seat cushions in my studio.  It was not under or in any of the excessives boxes and such that I have in the closet in my studio.  It also was not in any purse I have used in the last 6 months.  It was not in the seat cushions in my car, nor under any seat or in any crevice in my car. It was not in the kitchen, nor any drawer in the kitchen. And, it was not still at the jewelers.  I asked 3 times.  I searched every room…kitchen, library, laundry…it was nowhere to be found.  I had told Joy and Pop that I had it fixed and they were anxious to see it.  How could I ever tell them that I had lost it?  I have been sick everytime I have thought about it.  I even looked inside every shoe I have!  Though why it would be in there I have no idea…except for the fact that one time Mom lost a very, very expensive piece of jewelry and had searched everywhere for it.  She had even reported it to the insurance and they were in the process of replacing it.  Then one day, she was moving some shoes she had not worn in ages……..and there was her bracelet…..INSIDE HER SHOE !  I get it honest, friends, is all I’m saying!

Saturday, I finally sat down and had a cry about it.  Not a breakdown or anything…but, eyes wet, nonetheless.  And THEN, I talked to my Heavenly Father.  I told him what I had done…and how upset I was.  I reminded Him that I was certain He knew exactly where it was.  And, I asked Him to kindly lead me to it.  And, I asked Him, please, if I did not take a good hint to find it…would He just please KNOCK ME OVER THE HEAD WITH IT?  Because He knows me well.   “Cast all your care on Him for He cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7   And, He knows that that is what it takes sometimes for me.  Once in a while….occasionally.  I kept looking after I prayed.  Nothing.  No clues, no new places to look.  Nothing. Nada. Nyet.

I did not intend for this story to ramble on so, but this is an important part.  I cut my toe last week.  And, it has been very slow to heal.  It is OK if I don’t have to wear shoes.  The last 2 days, I have been soaking it in peroxide to maybe help it or something.  And, it is looking better…but it has gotten so much sorer.  In fact, the pain has gone up into my ankle.  But the cut itself seems to be healing.  Anyway, I could hardly walk yesterday morning, so I couldn’t go to church.  As, I’ve lain on the daybed in my studio, I’ve looked over every inch in this room where I thought the bracelet could be. Every one of them have been checked.  Then it suddenly came to me that I had not checked the box where I store my various glues.  Though heaven knows why it would be there…the important part is that I had not checked it.  So, I hobbled over to my work table, and pulled all the glue out of the box.  Nothing…only glue.  Well, there was one other thing…a package of jump rings I had purchased some time back and had quickly misplaced.  I decided right then and there that I was going to change my life!  I was never EVER going to just lay something down again.  From now on, a place for everything and everything in its place.  I would be a changed woman.  My studio would be so neat that I could actually tell someone where to look for something and it would really be there!  No one would believe it.  Not even me.  So, I started with that pack of jump rings.  Now all I had to do was find where I had put all the jewelry making supplies.  I knew they were all together because the last time I decided to change my life and clean up my act and get it all together…I vividly remembered gathering all the jewelry into a……what?  A drawer?  No…a plastic bag so I could see through it and know where it was?  No…I put it in a box.   In one of those boxes that looks like a book.  But, which one…there are 6.  The second box I opened had the jewelry making supplies in it.  So, I reached around the table to get the jump rings.  I put them in the box and closed it and put it away.  Whew!  that felt good.  In its place!  This was the beginning…I could feel myself on the path to a new me!  BUT, the box slipped off the table.  Because, I put weight down on my toe and I did some wild dance step just as I was putting it back on the desk.  And, the whole contents of the box fell and rolled and skittered across the floor.  And, I just sat down on the floor amidst the mess, and looked at it.  Well, I guess that’s what I get for trying to change.  I scooted around the floor on my bottom retrieving all the pieces and putting them back in the box.  Darn!  there was something under the chair.  I hope you can get this picture in your mind, because it would for sure give you a huge laugh.  I was trying to hold my hurt foot and ankle up off the floor and scoot on my bottom over the floor without causing too much uncomfort to my sit-upon.  Then I had to stretch out and reach under the chair to pick up that little bag.  That little white gossamer jeweler’s bag.  That little white gossamer jeweler’s bag that my jeweler had put MOM”S BRACELET IN WHEN I PICKED IT UP FROM HER A MONTH AGO !!!!!!  There it was!  THERE IT WAS!!!!

I don’t know if you believe in prayer…..and I certainly hope that you do……but be careful what you ask when you pray.  My Heavenly Father had led me to the box that held my treasured bracelet.  I opened the box, but didn’t see it because I didn’t look for it.  So, I’m just thinking that scooting across the floor with one leg held up in the air, bruising my behind, constitutes KNOCKING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH IT !  Oh, I do so believe that God has a sense of humor!  I promised Him that I would give the praise to Him when I found my the bracelet.  And, so I just want to remind you here and now, that Our Father knows what we need.  He knows before we ask.  “For your Father knows what you need before you even ask.”  Mattherw 6:8b    But, what comforts me is the fact that He CARES about little ole me, in little ole Dothan, bemoaning the loss of my Mom’s bracelet.  And, He hears our prayers…and He answers our prayers…sometimes in strange ways.   But, hey…He does it in HIS time…cause I’m missing a couple of other things that have been gone a year or more!

“Thank you, God, for loving bumfuddled ole me.  And, thank you for showing me the bracelet.  I’m guessing you and my Mom were having a great big laugh on Sunday morning.  That’s OK with me, and would you give Mom a hug for me and tell her I miss her everyday?  Amen”

PS……..Part 2 of this post will show pictures of the charm bracelet, along with some other really interesting pieces.   If I don’t lose them first!  🙂

Oh, it is not fun.  It is not easy.  It is not pretty.  And, many people will not do it.  Some run in terror when even thinking of it.  Many put it off as long as possible.

But, I will be brave.  I will not be intimidated.  Yes.  I will march swiftly into that dressing room and try on a swimsuit!

Actually, I already have.  I have tried on many suits.  I have tried on suits that promise to ‘MAKE YOU ONE SIZE SMALLER’.  Hah!  Can’t get those past my knees!  I have tried on the ‘SLIMMERLINE’.  Hah!  Who do they think they are kidding?  I have tried on those suits that ‘HAVE SPECIAL LINING TO SMOOTH AND SHAPE’.  Really.  It’s nothing more than a girdle in a panty…nothing revolutionary.  You actually have to go UP a size to get it up to its assigned place!  Can I get an ‘AMEN’ ?

Oh, there are plenty of suits out there.  And, plenty of cute suits out there.  And, plenty of cute suits in every size from a 10 down.  But, woe be unto to those of us that dare to be a size higher than that.  There are a few, I’ll admit.  Never mind that they are $300.00 for the few pieces of swimsuit fabric and a little elastic!   And, I’m not even kidding!!! Of course there are a few of the dreaded ‘swim dress’.  You know the ones.  Only ‘old ladies‘ wear them.  They will do the job…you can swim in them…but they are. not. cute.

You can also find what they call ‘SHORTS FOR SUN AND SURF’.  OK, I thought this may be the route to go.  Hah!  And, DOUBLE HAH!   First of all, the sizes are so inaccurate it’s not even funny.  If it says a size 14…just drop the ‘1’ and you have the correct size.   And, the same with every other size.   They are just ‘short shorts, cut straight across… right below the danger zone.  Which means unless you stand perfectly still…when you walk, they are going to, oh, so unkindly, start ‘creeping’.   Unpleasant to see and uncomfortable to be in. So, unless you ‘sun’ in the same place you dress….you’re out of luck.   And, then there is the problem of trying to ‘uncreep’ them.  There is not always a tree to hide behind.   So, forget the shorts.

I, for one, believe that in our society, beaches and swimming pools and water parks should be open to all.  And, I believe that ‘all’ should look their very best before they visit said beach, or swimming pool or water park.  Now you know as well as I do that there are some folks who put on their swimming attire and never once look in a mirror to examine themselves from the front and the back.  Or maybe they did look once 10 years ago and they think the scenery hasn’t changed any!  Let me be the first to say…it has!  And, what are we, who are forced to look upon such, supposed to do?  Well…..nothing.  Nothing at all…except to make sure we look our best and lead by example.  Which leads me back to my original thought for this post.

There are some of us who are larger that we like.  And, while I am trying to do something about it…it’s too darn hot down here in LA (Lower Alabama) to have a pool in my back yard and not make use of it as much as I can.  And, I intend to.  And, there may be folks in the area who happen to see me in my swim suit.  Cause, y’all, I like to swim and float and such…but it’s way more fun to do it with friends!  And, if I invite those folks in, they are good enough friends that they love me whatever shape I’m in.  But, until I can find a suit that covers what begs to be covered…it’s very doubtful you’ll see me in any public arena.  It’s such a shame because I believe that if the suits were available, our public pools and beaches and water parks would all be much prettier to look at!

Several family members gathered for lunch today, and the talk turned to swim suits.  (How?  I really don’t know)  One person said they could not find a suit and were not going swimming until a suit had been purchased.  Another member piped up and said,”Aw,====, just come on and swim.  The pool is private and look at us (meaning those gathered around the table)… we’re all in the same boat!”  And we are!

I may not find the ‘perfect suit’…but I will keep looking.   I do, however, have an old suit and I will wear it in the pool and have a ball!  Even if I am not ‘slimmerized’.  Even if I don’t have a cute ruffle beneath the bust line.   Even if I don’t look one size smaller.  Even if the lining to ‘smooth and shape’  is stretched out of shape!  I’m still going to swim and splash and float and play.  And, though you didn’t ask for my advice…..YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME!!!  And, I have THE most precious grandson who loves the pool!  Ya think I’m gonna miss out on that?   Not a chance!

So, let me say that I am thankful that I have 2 legs and 2 feet and 2 hands and 2 arms and all the parts in between.  And, I shall do my best to keep all parts of me as ‘well behaved’ as possible!

I haven’t spoken about the Creekhouse in quite a while.  And, for a very good reason…there has been nothing new to speak about.  But, I saw a picture recently and it made me laugh because of how I feel about….kitchens!

I never wanted a big kitchen.  I did however want a kitchen with character.  And, I am happy to say I have that.  The kitchen we built is small next to almost everyone’s…but it is just the right size for us.  There is very little I would change about it……just one set of doors to my pantry.  Not the funky orange screen doors…I still love them.  But, the only problem is that since ALL the food is in the pantry…those doors stay open all the time and I don’t get to enjoy these as much as I would like to.  Also, the other set of doors that leads out to the foyer and my studio tend to stay open for the reason of convenience to go to that part of the house.  So, I would swap the orange doors for the plain doors…and get rid of the plain doors all together.  Yes.  That is what I would like to do.  In my dreams!

This is never going to happen, however.  And, I bring it up as a matter of fact, not a matter of complaint.  My DH believes that unless something is broken, you do not mess with it.  And, it’s not broken…it was just an oversight on my part, when we were building, as to the way the doors would operate.  So—it is what it is.

And, I would not even bother to bring up kitchens at all…seeing as how it is the most unpleasant room in the house…(That’s just me, I know).  But, I saw a picture that I found purely delightful.  It is of a kitchen…to be sure…but one I think I could even grow to like!  What do you think?

Now…that’s a kitchen I think I could love! I suppose you could put your ‘kitchen’ in any room you like!   Isn’t it just the most amazing use of space?  I would imagine there would have to be a pantry somewhere to hold food.   But, honestly, it has all the things I think I would need…except maybe a freezer for necessities like ice cream and ice!

And, speaking of ice cream (we were speaking of ice cream, weren’t we?) Here is another nifty device…for those who have to contend with an infestation of ICE CREAM THIEFS at your house.  And, especially if you enjoy the ‘cream of the day’ is small carton form…this could be a necessity!

Introducing the Ben & Jerry’s combination Pint Lock, a brilliant idea for anyone who has a son or a spouse who doesn’t understand that if he eats one more bite of your Chocolate Fudge Brownie you’re totally going to do something unkind..just saying!

So that’s my post…pure fluff!  Hope it made you smile….OH!  Happy Cooking!