WE REMEMBER

At the rising of the sun and at its going down, 

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter. 

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,

At the shining of the sun and in the warmth of summer. 

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

At the beginning of the year and at its end. 

As long as we live, she too will live....

.....for she is now a part of us, as we remember her.

When we are weary and in need of strength, 

When we are lost and sick at heart.

When we have joy we crave to share, 

When we have decisions that are difficult to make. 

When we have achievements that are based on hers,

When we fulfill her dreams, and our own. 

As long as we live, she too will live...

.....for she is now a part of us, as we remember her.

copied

..........graduation picture..........

..........in front of the house I grew up in....pregnant with me...

loved the maternity fashion back then.........

..........Mom and Pop took a trip around the world...and this is 

somewhere with ruins. Greece or Rome, I don't really know.But, I love

these 2 pictures because she is striding forth with such confidence. 

I know these pics are not easy to see...but in the first one she does

not know she is being photographed...and in the second...she see's him.

and out pops the smile!. I love how stylish she looks here...flared

pants, big sunglasses..........

..........I had to include this one because it looks as if I am looking

 back to see what she is doing. Because, she loved this old, ugly bush

 behind her...planted so conveniently right by the back door. I tried

 to tear it down numerous times...but never any luck. This, you see,

 was the switch bush...and Joy and I were both very familiar with it.

 And, believe me when I tell you, she truly believed that verse in

 the Bible that says something like..."spare the 'switch' and spoil the

 child". There was no chance of me getting spoiled. Ever. 

 No chance at all..........

 ..........Doing what she loved to do ...feeding her family..........

***And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing

 all wounds...the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade

 away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken.***

Mom moved to heaven 2 years ago today, and we remember.

Friends, I have been writing on this post since Sunday.  I have written and re-written, and removed paragraphs, and put in new ones.  Why?  I usually just sit  down to write and the things I want to say come easily.  In this instance,  I have agonized over the words.  I want to explain the way I feel, but I keep second guessing myself…wondering if I am explaining too much, or if I’m not being clear at all.  This post has come from deep inside and it’s important to me that it be exactly as I hear it in my heart.  So, please be forgiving if something strikes you the wrong way.  Know that it is only my intention to say how I feel.  I speak for myself, and even though Joy and I discussed this, I do not claim to speak for her- even though she probably would totally agree.  Cause, I AM her big sister, after all!

This week there has been some sad news in our town, and in our church.  Some dear friends who we have known since childhood, found that their son had passed away during the night.  I can not imagine what you do when you go through something so devastating. I can not imagine  their pain.

There was a time, many years ago, a group of us young married women..still girl’s really… who were members at SBC,  were having babies just as quick as we could.  First one, then another, then another.  This went on for quite a few years…until we all came to our senses!  We produced a wonderful group of boys who were friends from their first Sunday in the nursery.

I can’t even remember who came first, and I sure hope I do not leave any out, but there was my Alex, Clarke, Jud, Harrison, Adam , Josh, Tyler,  my Ian,  Justin, Reid,  Chase, Russ, and these were just the boys that I can recall.

They went to several different schools and had other friends, but they all came together again on Sunday’s and the bonds were still there.  They were in Sunday School, choir, Discipleship, Camp Thunder, R.A.’s,  and summer programs together.    They all had parts in our Living Christmas Tree for many years.   Then, they went their own ways…as all young men should do.    And now, they are scattered all around.  Some are married and have started their families..raising little boys and girls themselves. Some are still working on their careers.  Some  live and work in other cities.    Some have gone to school and have come home to Dothan  Some have come home to SBC and worship in the church they grew up in.  Others are in Dothan and worship elsewhere.  And, two are in Heaven.  Adam went to Heaven when he was about 16…injured in a car accident.  And, now Harrison  has joined him there.

It is  hard, sometimes, to remember the things you know are true when something comes along to shake your life and change your world.    And usually, it comes from out of the blue.  I think it can be such a shock to us, that we tend to forget the things we know.  At these moments, there is only us and the pain and the unrealness of the situation.  After all, we are only human.  We know that God will uphold us.  We know that He will comfort us.  We know that he will walk with us.   We know His promises are true.  We may feel forsaken…even though we know He will never forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:6)  We wonder how we will live and go on and plan a funeral and get up the next day, and the next, and the next. How will we care for the ill family member, day after day and week after week and month after month and year after year?  We may feel lost and alone…but He has promised to be our strength. (Jeremiah 29:11)  And, He keeps all His promises.  We may think that we will never feel happiness or excitement or joy ever again…but it is He who will comfort us. ( Isaiah 51:12)  And the time will come, amidst the crying and unbelief and sadness, and pleading, when we realize that we are doing what needs to be done.  We are taking care of the things we need to.  We are still sad and may need to cry…that’s just what we do… that will last for a while.  And for each of us, it is different.  But, we are getting a boost from somewhere.  We are amazed at ourselves.  We didn’t think we could cope…but we are.  And, then…we remember…we remember what He promised us, “I will NEVER leave you.  I will be with you WHEREVER you go.”   Deuteronomy 31:6       Even to bury your child.  Even to bury your Mother or Father.  Even to bury a spouse.  Even to deal with a  child’s devastating illness…which, in reality, takes his life, too.  It may an illness for you or a spouse or a parent. You may even have to care for someone who doesn’t even remember who you are.  Maybe you lose all your worldly possessions due to flood or fire or whatever .  Whatever comes to disturb our safe and secure world, He walks beside us there.   We  do what we have to do.    And, we thank Him for holding us up and giving us strength.  We forget again, and sink into despair…but, He’s right there…walking us through it…holding our hand…drying our tears.

There are other ways He sends comfort to us.  We may read something….a poem, a quote, or an article that has all the words we need to hear.  Soon after her death, I was looking through some of the journals that Mom kept.    I came across a poem that she had cut out of a book or a magazine and taped into a journal.  Beautiful and touching words about losing someone we hold dear.   Exactly what I needed to hear.   We may hear someone say something that resonates with us.  Perhaps we hear something on the radio or TV.  We will ‘accidentally’ come across scripture that God must have put in the Bible just for us.  And, He did.  Because He knew we were going to need it.  He knew the exact day and time we were going to need it.  So, He made sure we would see it.  And, we did.   If God wants to send us a message, He will.   And we WILL get it.

Corrie Ten Boom once said:

“Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.”

And, it is true.  You may not have experienced it yet, but you will.    Many have experienced sadness and grief and shock in their lives.  And, to those who know Jesus as their Savior, He has given sweet comfort and peace.  I have felt it.  I can testify that it is true.  I know what peace and comfort only He can provide.  You have probably felt it, too.   And, if you are like me…you feel compelled to reach out to others who are hurting and tell them what you have discovered through your experience.    For along with His comfort and sweet peace, He has given us a task.  .  He says in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ^“ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”   We  are commanded to do this…but we would anyway.  Because, when you know what He can do, and what He has done for you….you want those you care about that are hurting to know about it, too.  And so you go and remind them of what they already know…but they need to be reminded…just as you did.  Friend helping friend…helping friend.

BLEST BE THE TIE THAT BINDS

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent prayers;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims are one
Our comforts and our cares.

We share each other’s woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

When we asunder part,
It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart,
And hope to meet again.

This glorious hope revives
Our courage by the way;
While each in expectation lives,
And longs to see the day.

From sorrow, toil and pain,
And sin, we shall be free,
And perfect love and friendship reign
Through all eternity.


lyrics…John Fawcett

I was not able to be in church last Sunday, but Joy said the sadness and shock  of this young man’s death could be felt everywhere.  And, then she said something else, which has resonated with me.  A core group of us, who call SBC our church home, our church family, have been in this church since we were young ourselves.  Joy and I started there while we were in grade school.  So, the adults who were our teachers, had children who were our friends.  We developed friendships, strong friendships, and grew  up, and had children of our own.  We, then were the teachers, and our teachers became the grandparents…and some…great-grandparents.  And, now we, though many of us still teach, we are also becoming the grandparents.   And our children are becoming the teachers. And so it goes.  Now, isn’t that a beautiful thing?  Just the way that God intended a family to operate.  Titus 2:3-5 says that “the older women are to teach the younger women.”   Our hearts are invested in these families.  We care, because when something bad happens…it effects the people who loved and nurtured us, and the people we loved and nurtured.  And, the ones who are to come.  It is our friends, and our parent’s friends, and our children’s friends.  And it is all because we are a family…a church family…the family of God.

The funeral is coming, and we will gather to mourn and love and pray together.  Friends who live elsewhere will arrive, and there will be hugs and slaps on the back because we have missed them and are glad to see them.  And, then, we will remember together.  And, we will cry together.  And, yes, we will worship and praise our God together.  Because in the midst of this horrible sadness, we are not defeated.  Because we know:

“Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ……… No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow — not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below — indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 8:35 – 39

Sunday…June 12…2o11

Today was a special day.  You know, I realize how fortunate I am to be able to say that.  I am so thankful for good news.  I am thankful that my family believes that what is good for one of us is good for all.  And, of course…what hurts one of us affects us all.  You take one of us …you take us all.  We are a cohesive unit…even if we have differing paths to follow.

Well,as I said, today was a special day.  And, so much leads up to it, that I don’t know if I can even explain it all to you so that it makes sense.  For years, our family has worshipped together at SBC. ***But children grow up and move away  to other cities and worship with strangers (to us) but where they feel comfortable.  ***They grow up and move away……even if it is only 30 miles up the highway, and they join the community church and use their talents there.  Which is, I believe, what God intends for us to do wherever we may call home.  ***They grow up and move with others to start a new church.  ***They grow up and worship in a totally new kind of church.  ***They grow up, but don’t always move away…and are not even able to attend church at all……but read and study and worships in his own way…living very close to God.  ***And, then there are our elders who simply moved on to  the the most wonderful place of all to worship…at the feet of Jesus.  And, this is the way of the world.  It is right and fitting that they should make their own decisions about how and where they worship.  They are serving the Lord , they are teaching, as they have been taught,  they are raising their children to love their church.  This makes mothers and fathers and aunts and uncles and grandfathers very happy and proud.  Together at SBC or worshipping in other places…we are ALL part of the Family of God.

But,  there are those of us who come  to our dear SBC each Sunday to worship.  Joy is the church pianist, Don and Tommy serve as Deacons, and committee heads, and Pop leads a Sunday School Department. I have not been able to be very active in the past few months due to my health, but I’m hoping to get a reprieve soon. It is funny thing that if I clear my throat or cough, Joy will always look my way from across the church.  It is a gift to sing the hymns with Don.  It is a treasure in my heart each time my Pop takes my hand during the benediction and holds it gently in his.  He always did the same with Mom.

It is nothing short of an early Heaven to be at church with those who have known you since you were a babe yourself.  Who saw you and loved you and taught you and  TOLD ON YOU!! and set the example of what being a Christian means.  They watched you grow, and helped you grow,  and then they watched your children.  And, they loved them and visited them, and taught them, and set the example, and yes, TOLD ON THEM! when necessary.   And, their children were taught, and loved and TOLD ON, when they were taught by us.    We love their children just as they love ours.These are the people who feed you when you are sick.  They sit with you during illness.  They comfort you during the pain of death.  There are many ladies here who loved my Mom.  They never mind us mentioning her or talking about her…they loved her, too.  It helps us so that we know they can recall sweet times with her, too.   I know that any of them would stand in for my Mom should we need it.   This is what makes a church family.  This is what binds us together.  This is the stabalizing force in our lives.  And, it is a good place to be.  And, here we shall be until we join Mom and  Mrs Elizabeth and Mr. Hanlan  (Don’s Mom and Dad), along with Tommy’s and Ben’s Dads,  on the streets of gold.

Adam grew up at SBC and Suzanne came when she was in college.  There are many, many people who love Adam…from watching him grow…and for watching him fight and beat cancer when he was just a little boy!  And, he and Suzanne are sorely missed…as are the rest of the cousins.

*****Allow me to stop here and say again what a blessing God has given us in Little Levi.  There was much doubt as to whether Adam and Suzanne would be able to bring a child into the world.  There were fertility issues that shall remain theirs to tell.  But, it was devastating when discovered.  However, God can take the saddest things in our lives and work through them to bring about a miracle.  Through wonderful doctors and God’s grace…they were able to have this precious child!  You know…people often get angry with God and wonder why He allows such sadness to occur in the lives of His children.    God made this natural world for us to live in,  and things sometimes go a little wonky.  It is the way of this world.  Even though it was created to be a perfect place…it changed with Adam and Eve.  So, God takes these sad and bad things that come into our lives and turns them into things we can bear.  Sometimes He makes things right.  Sometimes, He helps us find a workable solution…even if it is not the perfection we truly want.  And, sometimes, He says, “Be strong and learn from this trial.  I will help you and hold you and I will never leave you alone.”  And, He does just what He promises.  He is there to smooth our paths and He uses His followers to love on us and comfort us.  He. Is. Always. Good.*****

***Wow!  That was a lot of background that probably was not at all interesting, but as a historian for our family…it is important for me to tell the whole story.***

Today was a day of happiness and joy.  Joy deep down inside.  Adam and Suzanne brought Levi to SBC and my heart overflowed with happy.  There were so, so many people who loved and still love Adam…and they have been praying for he and Suzanne throughout this whole process.  They were happy to hear when they got pregnant, and even more so when he was born.  And, today, they were so happy to see their new son.

Pop began sitting on the other side of the church soon after Mom died.  Joy and Tommy sit there and it is easier for him to sit in a different place.  But today, he came and sat between Adam and I.  Forgive the goofy grin…like  I’m the only woman to ever have a grandchild.  He was so good all through the service.  Not a sound…except when he got the hiccups!

Do you notice how adoringly he is looking at me in the pic above?   Now look at the pic below….see?  Yes, I think the correct word would be adoration…just saying…

Here he is with our dear Uncle Allison, who just celebrated his 92 nd birthday!

Don and I with the sweetest grandson ever!

And, then Adam said they needed to go home.  Well, Levi was having a grand time at church with all the attention.  So, he whispered to me that he wanted to stay.  Then Adam told him that really they had to go.  And, this is what he thought about that…

And, thus the day came to an end.   Adam and Suzanne and Levi will be back in their church next week.  They are now in a  long and well established church where they are very happy.  And, that makes us happy!

“God has given us these times of joy.”  Nehemiah 12:43

I suppose you would have to be living on an island, in the middle of the ocean…and not the good kind of island, either.  I’m talking about a few trees and a strip of sand…and not a television or computer in sight…to not know that this week is the end of The Oprah Show.  They have been talking about it since she announced it in 2009.  She’s leaving Wednesday…..25 years she has been doing her television show.  25 years!   That means I was only 23 years old when it started!    OK…maybe it was 33. 

There are many people who think many things about Oprah.  Some think she hung the moon.  Some think she is the greatest thing to ever happen to television.  Some think she is too liberal.  Some think she is a Christian.  Some say she couldn’t possibly know the Lord.  Some think she is beautiful.  Some think she can not be beautiful because she is a different color than them.  Some think she has helped countless number of people.  Some think she has done it all for her own glory. Some think she has led many down the wrong path, others think she has shown the the only way.   I can not say if any of these things are true or false.  But, I can say what I think.  So, here goes…

Monday and Tuesday there have been shows honoring Oprah and some of her accomplishments.  They were held at the United Center in Chicago, a small, intimate theater that seats 30,000!!!  And, from the looks of it, every seat was filled.  The shows were filled with surprise guests that included the elite in the entertainment industry.  She was very gracious to all and shed many tears…even going into the ‘ugly cry’ as she calls it.  The talent was non stop, as if they were trying to get as many folks into the program as possible.  There were the young and the old there to honor her.  And, honor her they did! 

It is true that she has led  an extraordinary life.  And, she is to be commended for all the good she has done.    Being from a small town and a poor family, as she gained popularity, she quickly became a nation wide leader.  Her passion has been education.  I learned that because of her 64,688 people have been given an education…throughout the world.  She has given 415 scholarships to Moorhouse College for black men.  Her thought was if you’ take the underprivileged black man and see that he gets a good education…you change not only his life, but also the life of a whole family.’  It should be noted that among these men are doctors, lawyers, professors, astronauts,business men…and together, these 415 have given over $300,000 to the scholarship fund to see that even more young black men can take advantage of a better life.  She has started schools in Africa, and several other countries.  These young men and women now have the tools to change the life they have been born into.  She has also started education opportunities for poor women in undeveloped countries.  They then are able to provide for their families and help train others.  

 She single handedly started a new movement geared at reading.  Her book club of 65 books through out the years, has opened the eyes of  many who had not read in years.  A recommendation from her could make or break a book.  I personally  read about 20 of the books she recommended. and I throughly enjoyed all but one.   Her club consisted not onlynewly published books, but, some of the enduring classics of great literature.

 She has built whole neighborhoods for victims of Katrina.  She raised many more millions to build more. 

She started the movement of  ‘not texting while driving’.  Many, many signed a pledge to forego this practice.  Who knows how many lives this has saved? 

People on the show were saying what they had learned from her shows through the years.  Which got me to thinking.  Have I learned anything from her ?  I like to think of myself as having a brain that knows so much, there is no room for new things within.  HA!  I realize, the older I get, that I don’t have any idea just how much I don’t know!  Nevertheless, these are some of the things I learned from her:

1.  When you know better, you do better. 

2.  When someone shows you who they are, believe them. 

3.  Trust your instincts. 

4. As Mothers, we should always show excitement whenever we see our children. 

5.  Surround yourself only with those who lift you up and make you better. 

6.  Everyone has a story.

7.  The weaknesses and the addictions we all have are due to the emotions, the beliefs, the habits and the patterns stored deep inside ourselves.   Some of them are ours and some are adopted from our culture, family or friends.  I have to unearth these for myself.

8.  Bras, jeans, Spanx and poop.

So, it is now Thursday morn…I waited to post because I wanted to post about her last show.  I was shocked, to say the least.  In case you didn’t see.  She was on stage alone and spent the whole time talking.  No guests, though a few celebrities in the audience.  She talked about what she had done, what she had learned, and what she was most proud of. 

When she was asked how she had done the show and all it has entailed for 25 years  she said– “My team, and Jesus. Because nothing but the hand of God has made this possible for me.” Anticipating questions about which god she was talking about, she continued, “I’m talking about the same one you’re talking about. I’m talking about alpha and omega, the omniscient, the omnipresent, the ultimate consciousness, the source, the force, the all of everything there is, the one and only G-O-D.   I know I’ve never been alone, and you haven’t either,” she said. “And I know that that presence that flows, some people call it grace, is working in my life at every single turn, and yours too if you let it in.” 

I honor the mothers that are in my family today.  When I look at their faces from so long ago, more than anything else, I see strength.  And, perhaps that is what has been passed on to me through the years.  These are women who raised their families with much less than I have.  They lived through dark days.  And, yet…their children call them ‘blessed’.

My great-grandmother…Della Delenia Tew

My maternal grandmother…Annie Tew Merritt

My mother, Eloise Merritt Townsend, with me…

…and with Joy and I…

My paternal grandmother, Lillian Esther Hallman Townsend…

My Mother-in-love, Elizabeth Meadows Owens…

Don’s paternal  grandmother, Iola Owens…

And the newest mother in my family, my daughter-in-love, Suzanne Horn Owens and Baby Levi…

These are the women who have molded our family through generations.  I come from a strong heritage of women who loved the Lord, loved their families, and loved others in their communities.  I am blessed.

My beautiful Mom…I miss you every day…

To my boys…thank you for making motherhood an adventure…I love you all…

In case you don’t recognize me…this is my portrait, drawn by Ian years ago.