DID THIS…AND THIS…AND THIS…

Today, I  felt well enough to get out for a while.  I  had lunch with two dear friends.  We caught up on all that has happened in the last several months.  There was not a minute of silence until we split up to go home.

Don’t you love having friends like that?  Those that you can see 5 or 6 times a year…and it is like you’ve never been apart.  We would love to get together more, but, one has her first grandchild on the way…in another city.  And the other has 2 sweet grand boys who live out of town. And I am involved with Levi and Alex.  Plus the other things we are all involved in, leaves little time for such frivolity as whiling away 3 hours over lunch!  But, even though we don’t get together as often as we’d like…one call would bring any of us running at a moments notice.  I hope you have friends like this.

Since I was out, I tried to run an errand or two.  Went to one store to pick up a gift. I started to the door and was getting in the check out line.  But I must have been tired or something because I forget…... I MUST peruse the homegoods  just  in case there is something new on the shelves that they are saving for me!  But, today, after I made a quick glance… only a set of nice sheets that I had been looking for was of interest to me.  I must tell you that I LOVE  *RL* sheets.    In case that does not make sense to you the first name is ‘Ralph”.  Alex loves these too.  When we moved into the Creekhouse, Mom bought Alex two sets, and had them monogramed on the pillowcases.  That is the only sheet he wants, and the only sheet he sleeps on.  The ones he’s using now still look very nice, and are not even beginning to look like they are wearing out.  They are more expensive $$$, but they feel sooooo good.  They are usually sold in better department stores.  However, if you are a wise and observant shopper…like ‘huh um’…ME…you can find them at stores such as TJM*XX.

Passed by the kids section, and thought that it wouldn’t hurt to look for something cute for the  GREATEST GRANDSON IN THE WORLD !!!  So I look for the baby boy clothes.  There they are.  No, they are over here. No. WAIT ! They are back there.  This drives me crazy.  They have clothes here, there and everywhere, and they are all mixed up.  Sale things, clearance things, and regular price.  No rhyme or reason to their method.  And, the sizes are sorta mixed up, too.  Though, that is really not their fault.  Lots of people just hang things wherever they want.  Also at fault, that Mama and Grandmama who are letting their kids crawl UNDER the clothes racks and come up in the middle and swing on the racks while they (the adults) are laughing and talking and gossiping (I heard them) and generally paying them no mind and all the while clothes of every size are falling on the floor beside the racks and under the racks and piling up on the floor…and in their loudest OUTSIDE voice, they are singing, in a sing song fashion, which gives music a bad name, “You ca-n’t see me.  You ca-n’t see me.  I ca-an do this and you ca-n’t stop me.”  They sang it once, twice, two hundred times!  I couldn’t help myself.  I was already in a mood, because I was, and this was NOT helping.  So, I went around on the other size and pretended I was picking something up off the floor and stuck my head under that rack and looked those hoodlums straight in the eyes.  They were scared, they did not know what was coming next.  Most grown-up people don’t play with them under the racks.   And, I said, quietly so the adults would not come over and take me down, “This is not acceptable.  Only wild and crazy children act like this.  I will not stand for it, I tell you.  Now do the right thing.”  The girl  had quivering lips, and the boy had tears forming in the corner of his eyes.  I don’t care. I’m happy to play the Mommy if the real Mommy has forgotten how!  They came out of their hideout under the clothes.  Their lips were sealed.  They couldn’t speak.  They went to the imposters who were pretending to be their Mama and Grandmama and hung on for dear life.  They never said a word.  And I travelled around the 3 long racks looking for something for Sweet Levi who is really growing. ( Have you seen this guy lately?  He’s a chunk!!!)………I shopped in peace. They never made a sound. Each time I pushed past them, they got further and further behind the adults.  I finally found some little onesies in Levi’s size  and prepared to leave the war zone.  I made one more pass by them and gave them both a big smile, and went on my way.

It’s not nice to mess with a tired, sick Grandmother when she’s ‘in a mood.’

What?  You’ve not ever been in that situation?  I know you have.  So, I had to address it.  You think I was mean?  It was either make them stop or go in there and join them,  Cause I was in a mood, after all…you understand.

And so, I really headed to the check-out.  And, then I heard it…there was so much rain falling on the roof and in the parking lot… even some hail…I could not even see my car!    Now, my friends, you know I don’t do lightning…and it was!  And, they don’t have a nice set of chairs to sit and wait in.  So, I kept walking, and looking.  Found some wonderful things that asked…practically BEGGED!…to come home with me, but I just was not in the mood.    It is bad to be stuck in a store, and not feel like shopping.  And I really needed to sit down.  There were some benches between the outside door and the inside door, but they were both made of glass.  Which meant I would be very close to the lightning and I would have to look at it because the bench faced out.  This would not have been good for my ‘mood’.  Not good at all.  So, I headed for the shoes. They have two little benches at the end of two of the aisles.  It was empty and no one looked as if they needed it, so, I took a seat.  Whew!   “Lord, please let it stop for 5 minutes, so I can get to my car.”

There was an elderly woman…much more ‘eldier’ than me…sitting on the other bench, trying on shoes.  A shiver ran down my spine.  I prayed to be invisible.   I knew when I saw her she did not like to shop alone.  She needed someone to bounce ideas off of.   And, I was right.

EL:  Hon, whatdaya think about these shoes?

They were green and glittery with a big, blue, glittery bow on the top.

ME:  Well, they are really pretty if you have the right dress to wear them with.  Are you going to a party?

EL:  No, but I’s go to church ever Sunday…and I’s jest thinkin these ‘uns would look good with my new white suit.

ME:  Well, I just bet they would.  (I was not in the mood to give her the benefit of my fashion sense,  or I would have told her they were hideous and should only be worn in one of those ‘Womanless Beauty Pageants where the men dress up like women.  Every thing is a joke…just like those shoes.)

EL:  I jest don’t knows what to do.  I’ma thinkin’ I could wear ’em with a lot of things.  See, I has a blue suit, and a black suit, and my new white suit.  I’m thinking I could wear them with all those suits.  Don’t you think so?

ME:  I’m sure they would make an undeniable statement if you did.

EL:  What’s that mean?

ME:  Just that everyone will notice your shoes when you wear them.

EL:  Well, these is the kinda shoes to notice.

ME:  Oh, yes ma’am!

EL:  I bet you might like these better.

And y’all, she picks up a pair of red shoes….bright red patent leather shoes.  A strip of zebra striped fabric went over the toe and around the whole shoe.  The stiletto heels were black…patent leather, of course.

ME:  Hmmm. Those really are interesting.  Don’t think I have ever seen any like this before.  What are you planning to wear these with?

EL:  Well, you knows I got them suits I told you about.  I could wear these with the white suit or the black suit.  But, I don’t think they would look good with the blue, do you?

ME:  No, I think you are right.    You like unusual shoes, don’t you?

EL:  I suppose I do.

ME.:  I can understand that…so do I.

EL:  (She looked over at me, and looked down at my shoes…black T*ms.)

Well, I’m just telling you, Girl, them shoes you got on sho’ don’t do nothin’ for you.

ME:  These are comfortable, and I like them.  But, the truth is, they don’t make shoes like you have picked out in my size.  Those are usually just for people with really BIG feet.

And, with that, I stood up to look outside and it had stopped raining, so I said: “ Gotta go, it’s stopped raining.  You have a great day.  And, I think you should get both pair of the shoes!”

She was still staring at me, and said nary a word.  Good.  O.K. Then.

I was able to check out quickly and get to the car.  Then I ran ( well, walked ) into the grocery store to pick up only the ‘must haves’.  And, headed home.

Oh the experiences one can have when you least expect it!

PS……….If you like green glitter shoes with a big blue bow on top, I think that’s great.  YOU are wise enough to know you have to have the right dress to wear them with……………………………….and it is NOT a black suit that you wear on Sunday…but you know that!

PPS……….If you like red patent leather shoes with zebra trim and a black stiletto heel…well, good for you!  You are obviously a fun person, and wise.  Wise enough not to wear them to church on Sunday.

PPPS……….If you are a Mama or a Grandmama and you let your children act like wild Indians and throw clothes on the floor and damage the ear drums of other shoppers,   I will not go shopping with you if they come along.

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I was such a pompous girl when I was pregnant for the first time…”My children will never throw food in a restaurant.  My child will never throw himself down in the floor and have a tantrum.  My child will never climb under the clothes racks and scream and swing.”  How quickly I learned that “Yes, Ma’am, they will. ”  But…only once.   Unless they totally lose their mind and forget the lesson they learned as soon as we left wherever we were when they provided such wonderful entertainment.

Of course, Sweet Levi would never do things such as this when I take him out in the future.  But, should he try.  I’ll let his daddy or his uncles explain to him why he better not ever do it again !