JUST WRAP IT…TO GO

Do you ever have the feeling that the strange, weird and incompetent people of the world just seek you out?

While shopping recently, I purchased several gifts and some decorative Christmas items. In one store, I bought 2 very lovely mercury glass vases. Not outrageously expensive, but not cheap either. The clerk put one of them into a plastic bag and was attempting to put the other one in the same bag when I stopped her. “I think these need to be wrapped before they are bagged, please,”I said. “Oh, ok then,” she replies. Then she proceeded to put the second vase into its own bag. She got a bigger bag and was going to put both of the vases into the bigger bag. “Mam, I am travelling and I am afraid these will break if they are not wrapped,” I said as kindly as possible. “I wrapped it in the bag,” she answered sharply. “Well, do you have any tissue paper you can wrap around them so they won’t knock against one another?” I said. “No, all I have is this white paper…you will have to go to the back if you want them gift wrapped,” she answered. (What she had was a stack of white butcher paper used for wrapping fragile items). So, I asked her if I could have a few sheets of the white paper. “I’ll have to find out how much it is…there is no price on it.” YES, she really did say that! So, I decided to just watch and see just how looney she really was. Turning to the girl at the register next to her, she asked her how much to charge me for the sheets of paper. Clerk 2 looked at her like she had lost her mind. I could have told her that I had already ascertained that yes,indeed, her mind has gone on a permanent walk around the block!
“You talking about the wrapping paper?, she asked. “No, I told her where the wrapping was…she wants to buy some of this paper here.” The Clerk 2 looked at me like ‘is she for real?’. I explained, “I bought 2 glass vases and just wanted them wrapped in some tissue to protect them since I am travelling. Clerk 2 looked at Clerk 1 and said, “Give her the paper.” “Just give it to her?” asked Clerk 1. “Just give her the paper!” There was quite a line formed by now and several other people were enjoying this spectacle of “ain’t got a clue”. Clerk 1 is still looking at clerk 2 trying to figure out if she was going to get in trouble for giving me the wrapping paper. “Oh for pete’s sake!” said Clerk 2. She then left her register and walked over to the register where I was. She took the vases out of the bags and proceeded to wrap them in the butcher paper. Then she wrapped each one in several plastic bags, she cushioned the bottom of the shopping tote bag and carefully placed them inside and then cushioned them with more tissue. Those vases were gonna ride safe and as well protected as possible. Clerk 1 was just standing back, watching, and chomping on her hot pink bubble gum. When Clerk 2 finished, she turned to Clerk 1 and said, “that is what you do with fragile items.” And Clerk 2 walked back to her register. (NOW THIS IS TOO GOOD.) Clerk 1 said to Clerk 2, “Well, you still didn’t tell me how much to charge her for the paper.” Clerk 2 turned around very slowly, she smiled sweetly, “Honey, we’re giving that paper away today.” Clerk 1 said to me, “Wow, it’s a good thing you came today.” “Yes,” I told her, “I was thinking the same thing!”