SWIM SUIT SANITY

Oh, it is not fun.  It is not easy.  It is not pretty.  And, many people will not do it.  Some run in terror when even thinking of it.  Many put it off as long as possible.

But, I will be brave.  I will not be intimidated.  Yes.  I will march swiftly into that dressing room and try on a swimsuit!

Actually, I already have.  I have tried on many suits.  I have tried on suits that promise to ‘MAKE YOU ONE SIZE SMALLER’.  Hah!  Can’t get those past my knees!  I have tried on the ‘SLIMMERLINE’.  Hah!  Who do they think they are kidding?  I have tried on those suits that ‘HAVE SPECIAL LINING TO SMOOTH AND SHAPE’.  Really.  It’s nothing more than a girdle in a panty…nothing revolutionary.  You actually have to go UP a size to get it up to its assigned place!  Can I get an ‘AMEN’ ?

Oh, there are plenty of suits out there.  And, plenty of cute suits out there.  And, plenty of cute suits in every size from a 10 down.  But, woe be unto to those of us that dare to be a size higher than that.  There are a few, I’ll admit.  Never mind that they are $300.00 for the few pieces of swimsuit fabric and a little elastic!   And, I’m not even kidding!!! Of course there are a few of the dreaded ‘swim dress’.  You know the ones.  Only ‘old ladies‘ wear them.  They will do the job…you can swim in them…but they are. not. cute.

You can also find what they call ‘SHORTS FOR SUN AND SURF’.  OK, I thought this may be the route to go.  Hah!  And, DOUBLE HAH!   First of all, the sizes are so inaccurate it’s not even funny.  If it says a size 14…just drop the ‘1’ and you have the correct size.   And, the same with every other size.   They are just ‘short shorts, cut straight across… right below the danger zone.  Which means unless you stand perfectly still…when you walk, they are going to, oh, so unkindly, start ‘creeping’.   Unpleasant to see and uncomfortable to be in. So, unless you ‘sun’ in the same place you dress….you’re out of luck.   And, then there is the problem of trying to ‘uncreep’ them.  There is not always a tree to hide behind.   So, forget the shorts.

I, for one, believe that in our society, beaches and swimming pools and water parks should be open to all.  And, I believe that ‘all’ should look their very best before they visit said beach, or swimming pool or water park.  Now you know as well as I do that there are some folks who put on their swimming attire and never once look in a mirror to examine themselves from the front and the back.  Or maybe they did look once 10 years ago and they think the scenery hasn’t changed any!  Let me be the first to say…it has!  And, what are we, who are forced to look upon such, supposed to do?  Well…..nothing.  Nothing at all…except to make sure we look our best and lead by example.  Which leads me back to my original thought for this post.

There are some of us who are larger that we like.  And, while I am trying to do something about it…it’s too darn hot down here in LA (Lower Alabama) to have a pool in my back yard and not make use of it as much as I can.  And, I intend to.  And, there may be folks in the area who happen to see me in my swim suit.  Cause, y’all, I like to swim and float and such…but it’s way more fun to do it with friends!  And, if I invite those folks in, they are good enough friends that they love me whatever shape I’m in.  But, until I can find a suit that covers what begs to be covered…it’s very doubtful you’ll see me in any public arena.  It’s such a shame because I believe that if the suits were available, our public pools and beaches and water parks would all be much prettier to look at!

Several family members gathered for lunch today, and the talk turned to swim suits.  (How?  I really don’t know)  One person said they could not find a suit and were not going swimming until a suit had been purchased.  Another member piped up and said,”Aw,====, just come on and swim.  The pool is private and look at us (meaning those gathered around the table)… we’re all in the same boat!”  And we are!

I may not find the ‘perfect suit’…but I will keep looking.   I do, however, have an old suit and I will wear it in the pool and have a ball!  Even if I am not ‘slimmerized’.  Even if I don’t have a cute ruffle beneath the bust line.   Even if I don’t look one size smaller.  Even if the lining to ‘smooth and shape’  is stretched out of shape!  I’m still going to swim and splash and float and play.  And, though you didn’t ask for my advice…..YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME!!!  And, I have THE most precious grandson who loves the pool!  Ya think I’m gonna miss out on that?   Not a chance!

So, let me say that I am thankful that I have 2 legs and 2 feet and 2 hands and 2 arms and all the parts in between.  And, I shall do my best to keep all parts of me as ‘well behaved’ as possible!